So drunk its hurt
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
