so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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