I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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