When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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