Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
