She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
