We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
