She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
