And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
