Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
