ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
