he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
there is puke in my bra ... again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
