Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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