I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There r osticjed everywhere
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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