paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
