I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
