is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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