I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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