so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
