I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
