he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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