You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
