i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
