Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
