Can Purell be used as lube?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
