So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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