Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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