Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
