Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
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Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
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he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
