Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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