did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
