Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
