awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
