Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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