The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
