Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I will pee on everything he values.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
