I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
