That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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