I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
