Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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