I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
