plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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