do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
