I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
