Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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