you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
