i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
