Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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