Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
