Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
