she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
