He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
