Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am one with the molecules
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
